There’s a moment that happens in every organization, usually when the pressure is on and something has gone sideways. A deadline is missed. A client is unhappy. The numbers don’t look right. And in that moment, leaders make a choice that determines everything about their culture: Do they focus on the problem, or do they focus on the person?
I learned this lesson the hard way myself by working for a leader who made this mistake over and over again.
In the early 2000s, I took on a role at a boutique fundraising consulting firm. On paper, it seemed like a dream opportunity. But I quickly discovered that the founder had a fatal flaw: whenever something didn’t go his way, he lashed out at people instead of focusing on the problem.
I experienced this firsthand when one of my clients faced a PR nightmare—their spokesperson was indicted for financial crimes, which tanked the organization’s marketing results overnight. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this or change the outcome. But instead of acknowledging the root cause and working together to solve it, the founder blamed me personally for “not hitting revenue targets.”
That wasn’t an isolated incident. It was a pattern. And patterns like that don’t just affect one person. They infect the entire organization.
When Leaders Attack People, Everyone Loses
Here’s what I watched unfold over my three-year tenure: Factions formed as people tried to protect themselves. Fear became the dominant emotion in every meeting. Employees stopped sharing hard truths because they knew they’d be shot for being the messenger. The psychological safety that every high-performing team needs? It evaporated.
The results were catastrophic. During those three years, the C-suite, VP, and Director levels of the company turned over three times. Think about that. The entire leadership team—replaced three times in three years. This wasn’t a company struggling with market forces or industry disruption. This was a company destroying itself from the inside out.
This company was once great. But because of a leader who attacked people instead of problems, it faded into the background, was eventually sold for less than its true value, and is now just a faint memory in the industry.
The Alternative: Building Trust Through Problem-Focused Leadership
Great leaders understand that attacking the person destroys trust and morale, while attacking the problem builds trust and accelerates growth. When you create a culture where people feel safe bringing you problems, you create an environment where issues get surfaced early, collaboration increases, and real solutions emerge.
The natural tendency when problems arise is to look for someone to blame. It’s a primal instinct. But this creates cultures of fear where people hide problems, avoid taking risks, and become defensive rather than collaborative. And defensive people don’t innovate. They don’t take ownership. They don’t bring you the information you need to lead effectively.
Getting Practical: Questions to Ask Yourself
If you want to shift from being a person-focused leader to a problem-focused leader, start here:
When stakes are high, do you allow your emotions to get the best of you and focus on the person instead of the problem? What can you do to change this pattern? Be honest with yourself about your default mode under pressure.
Do you have a mental checklist for responding in heated moments when something isn’t going as expected? If not, create one. Even something as simple as “pause, breathe, ask what happened” can interrupt the blame cycle.
Where have you failed in this area recently? Is there someone you need to apologize to for attacking them instead of the problem? This might be the most important question of all.
How can you create systems that help you pause and refocus on problems rather than people when you’re frustrated? Maybe it’s a 24-hour rule before responding to bad news, or a trusted colleague who can pull you aside when you’re getting heated.
Finally, ask yourself: What would change in your team’s willingness to bring you problems if they knew you’d focus on solutions rather than blame? The answer to this question reveals the culture you’re actually creating, not the one you think you’re creating.
Your Next Step
If you’ve recently attacked a person instead of focusing on the problem, apologize to them this week and refocus the conversation on solutions. Not next month. This week.
That single act does more than repair a relationship—it signals to your entire team that you’re committed to creating a culture of psychological safety, where problems are welcomed and people are valued.
Because at the end of the day, every problem in your organization is solvable. But the talent you drive away by attacking people? That’s much harder to replace.