A tale of two asks…

We’ve all heard the horror stories of fundraising asks gone bad. If we’re honest, some of us might even tell of our own involvement in some of those horrible donor experiences, and what we’ve learned along the way.

If you’ve ever read my book or heard any of my podcast interviews recently, you know that I’m focused on helping nonprofit organizations avoid making costly mistakes. And I’ve found one of the best ways to do that is by sharing stories. Stories that provide a cautionary tale of mistakes to avoid are some of the most valuable.

Recently I sat down with two high net worth donors who shared similarly unfortunate solicitation experiences with me. I think we can all learn something valuable from the stories these two donors were willing to share.

Donor #1

A high net worth couple, owners of two successful businesses, decided to volunteer at an organization that was being supported financially by their church. During the volunteer event, the husband felt moved to write the organization a $500 check.

Shortly after the event, they received a phone call from the organization. It was a regional development officer letting them know they had been “assigned” to her, and asking for a meeting. They obliged, and took a meeting with this person. The donor described the meeting as “not memorable”. Importantly, one half of this high net worth couple happens to own a fundraising consulting business. They are not new to philanthropy, and certainly aren’t novice donors. They were surprised by the fact that this regional development officer seemed not to be interested in them or getting to know them, and instead more interested in delivering the key messages she had practiced about their organization, the work they do, the needs they have, etc. “Not memorable.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never walked into a donor meeting hoping that our interaction would be described as “not memorable.”

Several months passed by after this initial meeting, and the couple hadn’t heard much at all from the development officer. Then the wife received an email from the development officer. Attached in the email was a PDF of a sponsorship form for an upcoming special event. In the brief text of the email, the development officer simply stated that the organization hoped this couple – because they are business owners – would step up and provide a corporate sponsorship for this event.

The couple never responded to that ask, and it’s likely they won’t give to this organization in the future.

Here’s why this broke down…

1. The stewardship was mechanical, and focused on checking a box on the organizational to-do list rather than delighting and celebrating the donor and their initial gift of $500.
2. The introduction of a relationship manager was positioned as an institutional “assignment” rather than a benefit to the donor of someone who could help guide and answer questions, show them how their gift was being put to work, and serve them. Instead, it was again mechanical and institutional.
3. The development officer wasted a huge opportunity by not coming prepared with thoughtful, intentional questions that would help her get to know this couple, understand why they made that first gift, and what, if anything, they wanted to accomplish in the future through their ongoing philanthropy. Instead, the conversation was again a one-sided institutional overview of sorts.
4. The second ask came before any real relationship had been established, and before the organization had shown this donor couple how they’d used their first gift. It was also a highly impersonal ask, delivered via email. At a minimum, this development officer could have picked up the phone and had a conversation with them – better yet, make this ask face-to-face.
5. The development officer assumed that because this couple owned multiple businesses, they must have been motivated by the desire for corporate logo placement and promotion in institutional brochures. Knowing this couple, their businesses, and their philanthropic priorities, I know for certain that’s so far from the truth it’s laughable. But the development officer didn’t take the time to get to know them and understand anything about them, so how would she have known that?

Donor #2

A local organization spent months working to secure a meeting with a high net worth individual in their community. He’s a successful local business owner, active in his church, and strategically philanthropic in the community.

After multiple outreach attempts, this high net worth individual accepted a meeting with the local organization. He had done his research. There was a specific program of the organization that he was interested in funding. In a significant way.

On the day of the meeting, the organization’s President and a Development Officer arrived to meet with this local business owner. After they exchanged pleasantries and shared a few stories about the state of affairs in their community, the development officer pulled some literature from her briefcase. She shared with this gentleman that she and the President had discussed it on the drive over, and they wanted the donor to consider becoming a member of their XYZ Society. She explained that the “buy-in” for this society membership was $1,500, and then shared a bit about how that gift would be used. She also walked him through the benefits he’d receive by becoming a member of this prestigious giving club.

Unimpressed, the potential donor sat back in his chair and explained that he wasn’t interested in membership in the giving club. Instead, he was interested in focusing his philanthropy on a specific issue in the community, and wanted to make an initial gift of $20,000, directed to a specific program at the organization.

The development officer calmly listened, and shortly thereafter ended the meeting. The president of the organization sat silently through the conversation and never responded to the donor’s stated desire to direct a $20,000 organization to a key program.

This meeting took place nearly a year ago. To this day, the potential donor has received ZERO follow-up from this organization. Not a thank you note for taking the meeting. Not a call to express appreciation for his interest in supporting a specific program. No request for a follow-up meeting. Not even a pledge commitment form that he could use to make his contribution.

Here’s where this broke down…

1. This meeting was never about the donor. They didn’t take the time to get to know him, to ask what his goals and priorities were, or why he was interested in meeting with them. It was all about them.
2. Before they walked in the room, they had put this potential donor in a box on a chart somewhere. He was pegged at the $1,500 giving level, and they decided he’d become a member of XYZ Society. That was the goal for the meeting, more than anything else.
3. It seems from the description of the meeting that the development officer and president of the organization have probably had very little experience in developing donor relationships and conducting visits of this nature, as they were entirely unprepared to meet this potential donor on his terms.

What can we all learn from this?

1. If you want to be successful, focus on the donor. Invest time, effort, energy, and financial resources in getting to know the donor. Learn what their priorities, desires, emotional connections, and goals are.
2. Check your preconceptions at the door. Be curious with the donor. Ask questions that help her dream big and identify ways that your organization can partner with her to make those dreams a reality.
3. Don’t assume that because a donor fits a certain criteria (i.e., they own a business), or stereotype (i.e., they look “blue collar”) that you can know exactly what they need or want out of a relationship with your organization. Your job is not to decide anything for the donor – it’s to help guide and facilitate the achievement of their philanthropic goals. That’s it.
4. How you follow up is critical. Even if a donor or potential donor throws you a curve ball and presents you with something you didn’t expect, you’ve got to be nimble in your thinking and make sure that you get back to them. It’s completely unacceptable to let weeks, months (or yikes – a year) go by without following up with that person. Nothing cements the perception in the donor’s mind that you don’t care about them as a person so much as them not hearing from you after a meeting or conversation.